Custody & Parenting Time (Visitation)

A "custodian" is a person who "guards or protects" someone else. In a court of law, child custody means the appointing of one or more persons to take care of and control a child under the age of 18 years.

In the State of California, there are several types of child custody:

  • Physical custody means who the child lives with most of the time.
  • Legal custody means who has the right and responsibility to make the decisions relating to the health, education and welfare of the child.

The physical and legal custody of the child may be "sole" or "joint."

  • Sole physical custody means that the child will live with and be under the supervision of one parent. (The court may order that the other parent has some rights to visit the child.)
  • Joint physical custody means that each of the parents will have significant periods of physical custody.
  • Sole legal custody means that one parent will have the right and the responsibility to make the decisions relating to the health, education, and welfare of the child.
  • Joint legal custody means that both parents will share the right and the responsibility to make the decisions relating to the health, education, and welfare of the child.

In general, after parents separate, it is considered best if the child has frequent and continuing contact with both parents and that both parents share the rights and responsibilities of raising their child.

Parenting Time: Developing Plans

Parents who come to court about child custody and parenting time (also called "visitation") face decisions about parenting plans for their children. It helps to understand what your children may be going through and what they may need to adjust to the changes in their lives. It is important to make a parenting plan for you, your children’s other parent, and your children that is based on the best interest of your children.

A parenting plan, also called a "custody and visitation agreement" or a "time-share plan," is the parent's written agreement about how much time the child will spend with each parent, and how the parents will make decisions about the child's welfare and education.

Visit the Judicial Council's Custody and Parenting Time Resources page for more information on what you should think about when deciding on a parenting plan that is in the best interests of your child, what should be in your parenting plan, and how to write up your parenting plan. Additionally, visit the "Developing a Child Custody Parenting Plan Handbook for Parents" published by Family Court Services for an excellent overview of parenting plan considerations and examples.

Sample Parenting Plans:

  • Joint legal custody, primary physical custody to one parent, and the non-custodial parent has parenting time alternate weekends Friday after school or 6 pm until Sunday at 6 pm or Monday return to school.  The noncustodial parent may also have a midweek dinner visit or other times as agreed upon.
  • Joint legal custody and joint physical custody.  One parent has the child Monday and Tuesday (return to school Wednesday), the other parent has the child Wednesday and Thursday (return to school Friday) and the parents alternate weekends Friday after school until return to school Monday.
  • Joint legal and joint physical custody and the parents alternate week on, week off.  This tends to work better for older children as they do not see the other parent for a full week.  
  • One parent has sole legal and sole physical custody and the other parent has daytime visitation only, supervised or unsupervised.  This may involve a “step up” plan where the noncustodial parent’s time may increase over the court of specified time if the visits are going well.
  • Parenting plans also need to include if holidays and summer will be shared.  This should include the children’s birthdays, parents’ birthdays, major holidays, and vacation time.

Custody Mediation or Counseling

For parents who cannot agree on a parenting plan, child custody mediation or counseling gives parents a chance to resolve disagreements about a parenting plan for their children.  Parents can choose private mediation which involves hiring a mediator outside of the court.  In mediation, the parents have the help of an expert (a mediator) in resolving these disagreements. If the parents are able to work out an agreement, the mediator will write a parenting plan that may then become a custody and visitation order if it is signed by a judge.

If parents do not agree on private mediation, one parent will need to file a Request for Order.  The court will schedule a Family Court Services date and a court date in front of the assigned judge.  In San Diego, Family Court Services is referred to as “child custody recommending counseling” because the counselor (called a "child custody recommending counselor") will give a written recommendation to the parents and the court if the parents cannot agree to a parenting plan.  The Family Court Services report will include information provided by each parent about their concerns and proposals for custody along with a detailed recommendation for legal and physical custody, a weekly schedule, and holidays and vacation time.  

The goals of Family Court Services and the court’s order are to develop a parenting plan that is in the best interest of your children.

Concerns About Your Child's Safety

If you have concerns about your child's mental or physical safety when they are with the other parent, it can be difficult to make a safe parenting plan that works. There are laws, court programs, and government agencies that may be able to help. 

Find Out About Supervised Visitation

A judge can order that a parent only has contact with the child when a neutral third person is present during the visitation, often called “supervised visitation.”

Ask or a Child Custody Evaluation

If you have concerns about your child's mental or physical safety when with the other parent, a judge can order a child custody evaluation. In cases where there is a serious allegation of child abuse or sexual abuse, a judge can make temporary emergency orders to protect the child until the evaluation is finished. The child custody evaluator may contact law enforcement and child welfare services and make recommendations about the needs of the child and how to ensure the child’s safety.  Please note that child custody evaluations are conducted by professionals outside the court and paid for by the parents.

Contact Child Welfare Services to Report Abuse

If you suspect your child's health or safety is at risk due to abuse or neglect, you can call the San Diego County Child Welfare Services Hotline at 1-858-560-2191.

Find Out About Custody Laws When There Is a History of Domestic Violence

If there has been domestic violence in your family, special laws apply when a judge makes a decision about who gets custody of your children (CA Family Code Section 3044).

Modifications of Custody & Parenting Time (Visitation) Orders

The court has continuing jurisdiction, or power, to modify custody and parenting time (visitation) orders as circumstances change.  Parents who agree on modifications to their custody and parenting time (visitation) orders can do so in a written stipulated order that is submitted for the court's approval.  In cases where parents don't agree, either parents can file a Request for Order to request a hearing with the court.

The San Diego County Family Law Facilitator's Office is a court-funded program staffed by attorneys, paralegals and court clerks, who provide free legal assistance to unrepresented family law litigants To discuss your options, request in-person or remote assistance.